In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual instructions on the labels of consumer goods:



1. On Sears hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

2. On a bag of chips: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside". (Evidently, the shoplifter special)

3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)

4. On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." (But it's "just" a suggestion)

5. On a Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down". (Oops, too late! You lose!)

6. On a Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (Are you sure? Let's experiment!)

7. On packaging for an iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save even more time?)

8. On some children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce construction accidents if we just keep those 5-year-olds with head-colds off the forklifts.)

9. On a sleep aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (As one would hope)

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to use in outer space...)

11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (I gotta admit, I'm curious)

12. On a packet of peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". (But no peas?)

13. On an airline's packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Somebody got payed big bucks to write this one)

14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief!)

15. On a chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Raise your hand if you've tried this)

16. On a Korean kitchen knife: "Keep out of children" (Hmmm, something must've gotten lost during the translation...)




Albert Einstein once said: "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity." I guess he's right...